Sharn: From Antiquities to Inquisitives

Good News Everyone!

I have terrible news...

Greetings potential foreign investors. I am pleased to inform you of some recent developments here at Naked Industries. Thanks to a special investigative effort lead by our CEO and CTO, one Erdrick Ust Nautha Zwi-Chrast, we are please to announce the acquisition of our exclusive semi-autonomous artificial intelligence task drones construction facility. We came across vengeful spirit of House Cannith (angered at the atrocities committed by his brethren) who inhabited this facility. As thanks for for sending him on his way to the after life, we have started cleaning out the trash and sprucing the place up with his blessing. You can now see our logo proudly emblazoned on the floor of the lobby. Now we were not the only ones tasked by this spirit. It seems that some other independent agents were also tasked with the restoration of the facility. One went native and joined with the Hobgoblins who have attempted to usurp this facility from its rightful new owners (me). The other tragically lost his life due to the treachery of an individual whose name I personally refuse to sully. As that is just not in my nature.

I won’t waste your time with the excessive details in how I managed to disable several of the ingenious traps with the greatest of ease. Or how with excessive use of my Gugnir Pulse Carbine MkI I managed to tactically disable the rogue constructs raging throughout the upper levels of the facility. What I will tell you is about the exciting new products that will soon be rolling off our assembly lines!

WAIT A MINUTE! Erdrick? Doesn’t this sound a lot like a creation forge that once belonged to House Cannith in the once prosperous nation of Cyre that has now become the stinking shithole known as the Mournlands?” Why you would be almost correct in your assumption. For you see Cyre was the nation that had the creation forges in them and gave rise the intelligent species known as the Warforged. But their creation was not an altruistic one and their treatment as little more than a slave war force during the war was one of the great horrors unleashed by House Cannith. We on the other hand have taken the moral high ground. Where our autonomous drones will have a semblance of intelligence in order to perform high functioning tasks, we have not crossed that threshold in to true sapience. Because we here at Naked Industries, respect the treaty that ended the war and will not repeat the same past mistakes.

Naked Industries would like to take a moment to thank several contract employees without whose help this would not have been possible. Lady Keyleth, and Lords Dyer and Aldos. Fuck your couch Zerif. The preceding message has been brought to you by Naked Industries. Remember, if it’s not Naked, you’re not trying hard enough!

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Talae

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