Sharn: From Antiquities to Inquisitives

I NEED MORE SCHNAPS! - Erdrick

So after a few days of working in the shop, I finally decided to meet up with the others and see how their investigations (read: bulldozing) into the shard went. Surprise, surprise they were getting nowhere, less than nowhere. These guys (coughcoughDyercough) were all over the place. Imagine a hyperactive child who is overstimulated, tossed in to a room full of toys, then shot full of speed and adrenaline just for lulz and told ‘you only get one’. That is the kind of attention spam I’m dealing with.

To make matters worse, people are starting to have ‘issues’. I’m LOOKING AT YOU ZERIF! He spent the better part of the day crying bitch tears doing nothing. There’s a saying on how to deal with what you have; “Hydrate, stretch, and man the frak up”. Key seemed to be in a foul mood, but when you run in to your arch-rival and she shows you up, who wouldn’t be. I applaud her passive aggressive vandalism in order to taint (hehe taint) the reputation of Scarlet. Kudos my dear. Al’s been busy with his Order recently, but what else do you expect from paladins? Fang… I’m beginning to suspect Fang is either; A: a shapeshifter; 2: someone whose been hit with a polymorph, or π: a druid who chooses to stay in her animal form. Either of these options doesn’t bother me too much. She packs a solid punch in a fight and has proven herself effectual. But if she wants to be treated like a person, she should god damned act like one. Until then WHOSE A FUFFY PUPPY?! WHOSE A FUFFY PUPPY?!

So my ADHD addled companions couldn’t quite decide what to do. I TRIED to get us back on track by giving a logical argument on going after the source of the Dragon Shards below Sharn. Key being the biggest detractor stating something… sewers, blah, blah. I wasn’t really paying attention. But I suspect its because she doesn’t like getting hit by big random pieces of meat in dark, smelly places. To each his own. Taking a page from Al’s book, I suggested we return the personal effects of the changeling that died a few weeks back. We also had this Dorf and Tiefling on loan from Cloud. Not the brightest pair, but Jello, there’s always room for more meat shields.

Visiting the house gave little in the way of leads, other than Dyer, Key and the flea bag coming up with this brilliant (read: retarded) plan of ambushing the butler later for more info. But until that time, I went drinking with the Dorf and Tiefling kid. (It was only 10:30, but that’s what alcoholism’s all about. Amirite?) Well dusk happens and Al and I are up in some kids tree house having snacks watching this travesty unfold. They amazingly used restraint. They got some fairly useless information that probably could have been deduced if I wasn’t so damned drunk. To alleviate this urge to kill all humans, we decided to check out one of the leads on the drugs. Turns out the bastards were using dragon shards and processing them into snuff. Really? That’s what you’re using them for? At least turn them in to residuum. So I felt we needed to pay them a… what’s the word I’m looking for? Visit? No, that’s not it… BEATING! Yes, we needed to pay them a beating.

Yeah, busting into that drug processing plant was a JOKE. An utter JOKE. Although this time I took the leader and I will be interrogating him. Cause last time I left someone in Dyer’s hand the moron tortured the guy in front of Al. A paladin. I’ll let you swish that around in your mouth a little. He TORTURED a man IN FRONT of a PAL-A-DIN. And by torture I mean he cut his head off. /golfclap. Didn’t even butter him up a little. No good cop, bad cop. Didn’t even bother to put on a little Stealers Wheel. Just off with the head. What a dumbass. So yeah, that’s pretty much it. I’m going back to drinking.

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