So today’s report is going to be short and sweet cause home boy here needs to get his drink on. Also because I’m minorly annoyed that once again, this report fall to ME to be done. Not all of us went back down for today’s escapades. Dyer was off doing whoever the fuck knows. Fang? Probably chewing on a bone, some dead animal or her crotch. I could care less about the fleabag. We went back down in to the sewers to go after more dragon shards. Needless to say it was s short trip. We got ambushed… again… by halflings… I swear these halfling mafioso are worse than a case a herpes.
I really shouldn’t be saying this. AGAIN… but DO NOT TORTURE IN FRONT OF THE PALADIN. While yes, older orders editions had them being paragons of good and virtue and now they are more paragons of a code, Al strikes me as an old school kind of guy. Would I like to see Al as the Paragon of Awesome? Yes. Because then we could roam the universe as utter bro’s tearing shit up and eating delicious sandwiches. But as he is of the latter persuasion, STOP TORTURING IN FRONT OF THE PALADIN. Oh, and while you might not like what we (Al and I) did Zerif, we DID untie that Halfling you tortured and let him go. NEENER NEENER NEEEEEEENNERRRR!
Not much else happened. We made a little more headway in to the sewers/catacombs/long ass labyrinth. Probably the most important thing that happened was that Bloodbath & Beyond has just rolled out its new line of personal defense systems! That right the all new Einherjar Armed Combat Suits Mk2 has just been introduced and the results were better than anticipated. Reports are coming in from all over Sharn of satisfied costumers lauding the extra defense boost they received while in the Einherjar Mk2 Suits.
Some might ask “But Erdrick! I’m an old school tank and spank kind of guy who likes to wear heavy armor, and you always go around in those classy leather suits. How is that even worth my time?” And that IS a good question, but have no fear! At Bloodbath & Beyond we take in to account our eclectic customers and the Einherjar Armed Combat Suit Mk2 comes in three varieties Silmeria (light), Lenneth (medium) and Hrist (heavy), each specially tailored for your individual combat needs. Stop in this week and trade in your old Mk1 suits and we’ll give you a 10% discount!
The previous report has been brought to you by Bloodbath & Beyond. Bloodbath & Beyond LLC is a wholly owned subsidiary of Naked Industries. Remember if it’s not Naked, you’re not trying hard enough.